Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Learning to Cope

They say that the day he leaves is the hardest. But as today came around, I'm beginning to question that concept. Although, yes It was a hard time and seeing his face walk onto that bus, knowing I wouldn't be in his arms for a year was heart breaking and really the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Today the reality of that hits home.

I woke up this morning after a rough night of tear streaked cheeks, and finally passing out on his side of the bed cuddling with his pillow. And I first thought awe he didn't say bye before pt. Oh well I'll get up and be ready to take a shower with him afterwards. A little while passed and I realized....He wont be walking back through that door today.

These simple things sadden me. But good news I have been able to hear from him on every step of his travel. And you know with him gone the countdown til he is back is getting smaller every second....and who wouldn't like knowing that? "Missing someone gets easier everyday because though he is further from the last time you saw him, he is also closer til the next time."

The best thing that's gonna get me through this is to break up the time, there are 4 things that will be doing that for me. And I'm challenging myself to count down to those things rather than looking at the time as a whole. In Sept, I have friends coming for their b-day, than sometime after that Dustin will have R&r, and Than my sister and mother are coming out in March. And in the beginning of June my Cousin is going to make it out. So with the only a few months in between each event it makes the total count down seem so much less.

Hey best part of all is remind myself everyday that, Dustin is safe, he is gonna be in one of the best FOBS over there, he'll have Internet. We will be able to talk almost everyday when he isn't working :D Plus I finally get to make all the Awesome care packages I have been looking forward to. And get to receive letters in the mail ALL the time from him that's gonna be awesome.

So the challenge begins, it will challenge our faith, our relationship, our friendship, our patience, and our courage. But if there is one thing being an army wive and girlfriend to Dustin has shown, its that we truly are in love and this little task will not phase us one bit. Nothing we haven't had to do before.


P.s. cherish all the small things they do. Like I woke up today expecting to have to do dishes before breakfast, and found the dishwasher was full of clean dishes :D made my day! He had started it before we left for formation yesterday!!

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Army Proud

Today was the day for the deployment ceremony. And nothing makes an army wife more proud of her husband than seeing him in formation, in uniform with all the men who are willing to risk their lives to save his. When you see an entire brigade standing at attention it makes you feel very safe.

As the bugle calls to announce the presentation of the colors and the playing of the national anthem, it sends shivers down my spine as now, more than ever those words echo through me, and show just what my husband is out there standing so proudly for.

This ceremony made me realise even more that his job is important. Although in my selfish world I think he shouldn't be deploying and I should be able to keep my husband at my side, I can see that what he is fighting for is not a war but his pride in this great nation, and his pride in his family and friends. So although the ceremony made the fact he is leaving ever so soon sink in even more I know it has a good purpose.

As I looked around me while sitting in the bleachers, I saw all the wives, and kids that are my army family and never have I felt so sure that, I can make it through this year. I know that I have amazing friends who will be there with me til the end. We will feed off of each others strengths, and hold each other up during our times of weakness. And with my family so far away, its great to know that I have my own hand picked and amazing family still surrounding me.

So deployment this is what I have to say "BRING IT ON" I know I may be sad, happy, and terrified by you but I know that I'm better than you and I will make it through this without any problems. Because if there is one thing I learned from the Army its that "I AM ARMY STRONG"!!

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Coming soon!!

I cant belive how fast leave went. I swear it feels like we were just packing full of excitement for the two weeks away, and now we are already back doing the final count down before he leaves. And yes he does leave soon, VERY soon(no I wont tell you the date). As we spend the little time we have together it makes me very proud to have such a strong husband. I know that he is just as scared as I am to be so far away for so long but he doesnt show it. He knows that he has to be strong for me cuz I'm always on the edge of a total breakdown. We just got to remember to use what time we do have left in each others arms just remembering all the good times. Im scared for him to leave but 12 months can be a very short time if we have a good attitude about it. Ill be very busy the whole time with Frg, Dr Appointments, and hopefully eventually getting a decent job.