Friday, January 4, 2013

Controversal Parenting

So this blog is about the topic of parenting that can often be very controversial. I wanted to write about them as a way for people to see where I stand on things. But I really hope that it will not cause people to start any drama or be rude to each other. Honestly I think any choices that you make as a parent as far as how you choose to raise your children is what works for you. Not everything I do is going to work for every family!  This is a tag so meaning its a starter topic for discussion, the idea is for you to read than converse over how you feel, which does NOT mean bash on others opinions. For me it was interesting way to Learn about the different options more than anything.

Pro-life Vs. Pro-choice: This topic has probably been one of the most controversial topics that has been an issue for a very long time. And to me having an opinion on this is something you can't really have until you are faced with the choice. So being a man and never having to give birth to a child you should have no opinion in the matter. I am really not sure where I stand on this topic. I don't think that you should use abortion as like a form of birth control. You should NOT be able to go in and get an abortion because you just don't want to be pregnant. Specially when you should just use a condom. But there is also the situations where someone was raped, and having that child would only bring the pain of the rape back to memory every time they saw it and that wouldn't be fair for the mother or child.  And the other thing would be if a medical doctor were to say that it was deemed necessary to abort a pregnancy when the mother was absolutely not able to bear a child.

Baby Wearing: Well this topic if you follow my blog at all should be an easy one to answer. I really didn't know that much about it before I moved here to Germany but after attending the annual baby convention thing with Danielle, I was set that I was going to wear Kyra EVERYWHERE. And since my mom was awesome and got me one of the BEST brands in baby-wearing, I was set to go. And living here specially during the holiday season I don't know what I would do it I wasn't a baby wearer. I would NOT have wanted to push a stroller through the crowded streets with people everywhere.

Circumcision:  This isn't something I have had to deal with yet since Kyra is a girl and my only. But I feel like this one is kind of confusing. I have been listening to a lot of different opinions on the matter and have yet to decide where I stand. This is something I will certainly need to do more research on when the time comes that we are expecting a boy.

Adoption:  I am 100% pro adoption for not only the case that there are 1000's of families out there that simply can't have kids of their own, but also that I think making the decision to put your child you carried up for adoption is completely selfless. This is the choice I hope that anyone who becomes pregnant unexpectedly and know they won't be able to provide a great home for the child would do. They should always consider this option over abortion or trying to raise a child they know they don't have the means to provide for. You as a mother or father should know what is best for the baby you conceived if you know you can't provide the right care be honest with yourself and do the right thing.

Baby Piercing:  Now this topic I can't say I am against because it is your choice if you wanna pierce your baby's ears. We chose to simply not until Kyra is old enough to ask for it. If at age 6 she comes home and wants her ears pierced we will sit down and explain to her that it is going to hurt and show her how she will have to take good care of them. And if she still wants to get them done we will allow her to. As it is her body and she can decide what to do with it. That being said I will be strict about other piercings lol. Don't think she will be a metal face by age 10 or anything :)

Breast Milk Vs. Formula: This one is also a no brainier if you know me. I have been exclusively breastfeeding Kyra since day one. I knew I would always breast feed as I know the benefits of breastfeeding that totally out weight formula infinitely. My opinion is that breastfeeding may be a lot of work at first and can often cause people to quit but its a very selfless way to provide the best for you children. I think every mother should at least try to breastfeed their children because how can you know its not for you if you have never tried? I know there are some mothers who can only do it for a little while and their bodies dry up or simply are just unable to produce at all. And for that I am glad there is such thing as Formula to provide a nutritious supplement to the baby.

Spanking: This one is something that I have had a lot to think about. My husband is pro spanking as that was how he was raised. I was raised the same way.  But I think that spanking caused us to simply fear my dad more than anything. We knew if we messed up we were gonna gets spanked so we tried to behave but I would rather not have my children have any fear in us. I really want them to be able to trust us and respect us instead. So I am pro trying other ways to instill good behavior in your children before spanking. I intend to be very strict about time out and getting down on their level to explain what they have done wrong. I think being disappointed and speaking calmly will cause them to listen and behave better. But all of this is just in thought and we will have to see for ourselves when we reach this point what works and what doesn't as every child is different.

Co-sleeping: For some people co sleeping is the right thing for them. For us it was never an option. We like our sleep too much and I felt like if she was sleeping in my bed I wouldn't sleep well at all for the fear of rolling onto her and hurting her. Also now that she is getting older she needs her own space sometimes during the day. And she has learned to love her own bed. In my opinion co-sleeping causes issues later in life when they are old enough they should be sleeping in their room every night and they still think they should sleep with you. This is something we didn't want to have to deal with.

Home Vs. Public Vs. Private Vs. Charter Schooling: This is one of the topics where I am not sure what we will do. With all the craziness that is our world there has never been something so tempting as home schooling. But I know that for my child to be social the best is to go to school with other students. I grew up public and never had any problems with it. But I would also consider private school if I could afford it. As the security and advanced classes they are able to provide would be nice for my children to have access to. But this topic I need to look into a lot more before I can decide. And we certainly have sometime to do that.

Vaccinations:  As a military family it seems like it is kind of required to get your children vaccinated. But I  am sure you are allowed to not if you choose. But I think for your child's safety and the safety of the children your kids are around vaccinating against diseases is only the smart thing to do.

Medicating Children:  I don't know if this is referring to like Tylenol and stuff like that or bigger issues like ADD/ADHD. One I am pro the other I am against. I don't see that giving your child Tylenol or cold medicine is a bad thing. If you baby has a fever you don't want them to just have to suffer when there are things that have been invented to help relieve the symptoms. So as far as over the counter medicine that has been tested and proven to help I don't mind it one bit. But if you are going to take your child to the doctor because they seem to have a lot of energy and you just aren't sure how to deal with it. Putting kids on addictive drugs is not a safe or smart solution. Maybe your child just needs a more disciplined schedule or to get involved in something more physical that will allow them to use their energy in a more productive way. Again all kids are different and not all are going to be able to sit still and read, and not all are going to want to be chasing a ball up and down a field either. Learn your child's ways and do what you can to make them happy.

Cloth Vs. Disposable diapers: This one is something I don't find all that controversial. It is obvious that Cloth diapering saves you money and helps the environment. That being said it isn't for everyone. I does take a bit more work and time but can be done. I am a part time cloth diaper-er I wish I had the energy to do it always but we do try to do it when we are caught up on washing clothes. But that is not as often as it should be.  We tend to live out of the clean baskets and not get them put away lol. And I am not comfortable with doing it out and about cuz I don't wanna have to carry the dirty diapers around with me until we get home. But we have gone weeks at a time just cloth diapering when we are home to stretch out the amount of time a package of diapers last, when we are broke. I have even made wipes too! It wasn't that bad at all. I think with the next baby I may try to collect some more cloth diapers and do it exclusively for them.

CIO Method: This one to me is a matter of how long you do it. I don't think you should let your baby cry all the time. They probably need something if they are always crying and you need to be responsive so they know they can trust you to be there for them. That being said we do do the CIO method at night time because I know she can sleep through the night and often wakes up just because its a routine, or won't go to bed because she wants to be up with us even when she is tired.  But our routine is we let her cry for 5 mins than go in rock her for no longer than 2 mins, and than lay her back down. Than if she continues to cry we wait 10 mins and that rock her again for 2 mins. And continue to do this but if after 15 mins of crying she hasn't calmed down and slept instead of trying to rock her we just let her get back up for a while. If she hasn't slept she probably isn't tired and doesn't need to be stressed out by being trapped in a crib!! And normally by this time she will be so exhausted that she will come out to play and will only last maybe 15 mins before she is ready to be laid back down it just calms her down to know that we are still there and paying some attention to her.

Well those are my opinions and how I feel about the top topics in parenting. Feel free to comment and leave your opinions but lets play nice and not bash each other. Every individual is different and not everything will be the same so be respectful!


  1. Brave of you to share Sabrina :) I think I have mostly the same opinions as you, we'd probably agree in conversation.
    As far as circumcision, I've had to deal with that decision twice and both times, I kinda decided I didn't get to have an opinion on it. I don't have a penis, I don't get to decide. Daddy does, daddy decides. That being said, care is super important! With the first baby, our pediatrician said to do nothing, make sure to keep poo off of it and let it heal untouched - sadly this was NOT correct and our son will be dealing with a very painful situation sometime down the road. Daddy decided to circumcise son #2 and I decided to look into the correct care...resulting in son #2 having no complications. As with all parenting, it's important to do your own research. I no longer take pediatricians at their word - if I doubt something, I research it myself and make an informed decision.
    Thanks for sharing!

    1. That is a good way to look at it, daddies do know more about how that area works, and maybe the should be in charge of the procedures done on them. But we will certainly be looking into the benefits of either way..Good to know that you should look into the care of it, cuz I tend to listen to pediatricians and trust that they know what they are talking about. Proves to learn on your own really does make things easier!